Well,
After 2 months of hard work anticipation, struggle and huge learning. I did not get the coaching contract job to coach with xyz company (name omitted to protect the innocent/ avoid lawsuits). those of you who know me , know the organization I am talking about.
I’ll be honest, I cried like a baby yesterday, and am moist now as i write this as I really wanted this gig, it felt good to let it out and I may cry again and soon! lol However I can truly say today, what a f…ckn ride with all the ups and downs of a world class amusement park.
In summary I laughed and cried harder during the weekend at the event, I actually walked barefoot on white hot coals without a burn., i looked deep into my soul and exorcised (or at least tied up for a while) many demons, old outdated thought patterns…
Read the rest...
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on November 28th, 2008
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.. Tey agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.” The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table And poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the Empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – God, family, children, health, friends, and passions — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued,”there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So… Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children (and/or Pets). Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. “Take care of the golf balls first –the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.” One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked”. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on November 24th, 2008
Are You a Leader?
Great leaders are storytellers. Some people think that to be a greatleader you need to be charismatic, but it is not true. There are plenty of examples in business and politics of not so charismatic leaders who were phenomenally effective. But to be a great leader youdo have to be a good storyteller. People need to be inspired. We don’t do anything until we are inspired. Education is not enough, we need inspiration…
I constantlylisten to audio programs, read great books and articles, and try tosurround myself with interesting and inspiring people. We all need tobe inspired… Great leaders understand the power of stories, and theycommunicate inspiring stories to the people they lead.What stories are your children listening to? The most powerful story you tell the world every day is the story of how you choose to live your life… What story are you telling with your life? This story will have more impact on your children than any other single factor intheir lives.
Great leaders are collaborators. You can’t do it all yourself. You need partners to collaborate with in your parenting quest. Your leadership will only ever be as strong and broad as your ability to collaborate… These partners may include: your parents, your brothersand sisters, neighbors, friends, teachers and coaches at school, your older children, and so on. It is important that you work out who is onyour team. In your parenting quest, who are your partners andcollaborators?It is also of paramount importance to recognize that your child, too,is your collaborator in the process of parenting. That is why it isimportant to clearly communication the vision to them, and to enlisttheir help. Appeal to them for help. Explain the great vision you areworking toward with them and ask them to participate in making that vision a reality. Great leaders know they cannot do everything on their own, and theyexpand their influence by choosing great partners to collaborate with. Great leaders are persuasive. Great leaders are much more interestedin using the power of persuasion than they are in using the power ofpersuasion than they are in using the raw power of authority…leaders use this raw authority sparingly, and never unnecessarily. We have already laid down the main requirements for effectivepersuasion – vision, authentic example, truth and trust, and inspiringstorytelling. Now we must bring them all together to persuade ourchildren to act. The key to persuasion is convincing the other person that what you propose is in his or her best interest…so, in order topersuade your children to adopt your vision and to act on that visionin the moments of the day, whether you are around or not, you mustfirst convince them that you have their best interests at heart…It is critically important that our children believe that we want them to become the-best-version-of-themselves simply because we love them,and not because it will make our lives easier, or because we will beable to boast about them. Nothing we say will convince them of this. We can only convince children of this by the way we act.
excerpt from “Building Better Families: A Practical Guide to Raising Amazing Children” by Matthew Kelly
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on August 18th, 2008
Well,
I’m back from Greece after a whirlwind 11 day trip to visit with a good friend Mr. Vasili (Billy) Kyritsis a man who knows the country intimately.
Those of you who know me well know I have travelled regularly since my early 20’s having visited Europe twice (Austria, Italy, France), the caribean numerous times, Mexico, all of Canada and California, Florida and the Northeast states numerous times.
This was my best trip so far. Why?, you may ask. Maybe it was the location and who i was being on this trip. i had zero expectations, that probably helped a lot as well.
My experience of Greece is one of a country solidly in touch with its extensive history, connected to what it is and comfortable enough with itself to not bend over to make you the outsider too comfortable. I respect that!
First impressions are the geography, people and food.
The geography is unbelievable and has to be experienced and seen to be believed as no picture can quantify it’s visceral force. Greece is a mountainous country surrounded by water. So there are mountains and ocean to be dealt with whenever you travel. This is both a blessing (panoramic views constantly!) and a curse (driving is complicated!). From one of the most beautiful bridges I’ve ever seen, goat path roads that are not even wide enough for one car in which 2 must cross constantly. The roads are not for the faint of heart as they are wrapped around mountains with cliffs never more than a few feet away from the car’s outside wheel. Guardrails are not present…ever! You are afforded views of beautiful turquoise seas every 5 minutes.
I consider myself (and have been told) a top 5th percentile driver and I was scared many times at the circuitous, dropping and climbing roads. I’ve never seen driving as I did in Greece. No one wears helmets, off road motorcycles and all terrain vehicles are legal to drive on the roads. Speed limits are rarely if ever enforced and the highway speed limits are at 120 km/h with most cars driving 140km/h + easily. Some of the highways you have 1 1/2 lanes on each side meeting each other. Other drivers were regularly jutting halfway into my lane, careful passing is in order. The rest of the traffic is halfway onto what we would call the “emergency” lane. I had a few hair raising moments driving around. I drove in Athens (a city of about 11 million souls…) and got so lost (twice) it was a nightmare! European drivers drive much better than North Americas, they have to, it’s a matter of survival. 90% of cars are manual transmissions.. Most cars are under 2.0 litres of displacement this is due to very high gas prices (close to $2 a litre). Also until 2006, a now repealed tariff on cars with engines of greater than 2.0 litres tacked on an extra 20,000 Euros ($32,000) on the purchase price. Thus there were many RX-8’s and S2000’s but I only saw one 350Z for the above reason.
The beaches are second to none. There are 232+ beaaches in Greece. I visited 6 and loved them all. The water is very clean and clear and salty…you float easily. The water is a turqoise as only we assoicate with the caribean islands here.
The climate is very tropical, 36+ celicius, a dry heat every day i was there. Very little rain. This impacts toilets and water pressure in showers. You put used tissues and papoer in trash cans not the lavatory! Gettting a warm shower was a challenge in small villages.
The people are very welcoming, loving tourists and helping you any way they can. They smoke, drink, party like we did in our teens. They have small nws stands where you can buy magazines, food, alcohol and all manner of explicit illicit materials and this 24/7. There seems to be very little hand-holding there, a nice relief from here where everything is a law or dissaproved of to the point where we can’t enjoy anything without a worry. Example the sun/speed/drinking etc. kills. In Greece you are assumed to be an adult who can make their own choices. Very refreshing compared to the Big Brother nannying we endure here even from the media.
The food is truly better, there I said it! They don’t use chemicals to grow their crops and it tastes much better. Pork souvlaki melts in your mouth, a fresh greek salad explodes with taste. They make incredible sandwiches with sundried tomatoes, exotic cheeses and great fresh breads. Subway and Quiznos do not have any luck there.
Prices are higher for most items as they are the smae price as here, but it’s in Euros ($1.65 dollars per Euro). Local fruit out of the cities is very affordable as is dining out. Hotels, , fuel and bigger city dining is very expensive. On one island I drove to (Lefkada) NO ONE takes Visa or debit, cash only, and there was one cash machine for the whole town so come early!
I saw the Parthenon in Athens, the 1886 olympic stadium, Poseidon’s temple. I saw a theater show with no amplifiers or speakers where the acoustics were perfect (Epidavros). i visited old forts and loved every minute. What other city has few skyscrapers and has a 2500 year old relic as its main cityscape.
Okay! I got it out of my system. If any of you want to know more. Just ask!
If you’re going soon let’s talk.
I love Greece!
Thanks Billy for your kind guidance and suggestions.
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on June 16th, 2008
This weekend I completed a dream I have had for over 20 years… it feels incredible and I urge you to grab your dreams and complete some of them.
I went to mosport and raced a Van Diemen race car. The speed, cornering and braking of these race cars was indescribable. The concentration and pure power required to sustain the g forces really showed me why race car drivers are among the fittest athletes in the world!
All i can say is I spun the car out twice in two laps and asked myself to leave at that point. i also don’t reccomend hambugers and fries and pop before racing 
.
If you are interested.
Bridgestone Racing School, they have packeages starting at $695 to $6,995.
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on June 16th, 2008
After a few weeks of trials and tribulations, the logo is ready and here on your top right!
I am now embarking on the journey to build the brand!
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on June 5th, 2008
While coaching is not therapy some individuals have stated that it can feel very therapeutic. The information below helps to clarify the difference between conventional therapy and coaching
Conventional therapy tends towards
Personal strengthening
Triage
Issue resolution
Why me?
Why This?
Overcoming obstacles
Traditional relationship
Unconscious > conscious level
Away from
Looks backward
Raising standards
Somewhat vulnerable
Cognitive/heavier patterns
Letting go
Needs help
Pain
Past > present
Needs, want
Issue resolution
Driven by unresolved issues
Absorbs information
Feelings, discussion oriented
Self understanding
Nurturing, supportive
Asks why
Disruptive situations
Usually a measured pace
No personal disclosure
Patient / client
Medical model
Treatment
Healing
Presented complains
Mostly monologue
Progress
COACHING tends towards
Personal evolution
Visioning
Problem solving
What’s next?
What now?
Sustainable flow
Collaborative, equal partnership
Conscious > consciousness level
Toward
Focuses forward
Raising standards
Generally open, not vulnerable
Actively building
Life dynamics
Wants a partner
Frustration
Present > future
Needs, wants
Life design
Chooses goals and actions
Actions on information
More action oriented
Self potential
Catalyzing, challenging
Asks what
Tolerations
Often a rapid pace
Personal disclosure as useful
Client
Performance model
Co-creations
Achievement
Common situations
Mostly dialogue
Performance
Psychotherapy tends towards
Was then
Professional ‘arms length’
Behavior norms
Analysis / understanding
Pathology
Hope
Self concept
Integration
Diagnosis
Support
Prognosis for recovery
Diagnosable conditions
Anxiety
Depression
Trauma
Emotional scares
Addictions
Compulsions
Emotional issues
Neuroses
Psychoses
Healing of emotional damage
History
Self imposed limits
Acceptance
Conflicts
Reality
Restoring
Healing
Coaching
Is now
Close, collaborative
Uniqueness
Possibility
Experimentation / discovery
Inspiration
Self discovery
Manifestation
Self assessment
Support, solutions
Chance of success
Everyday situations
Related experiences
Missed opportunities
Flow
Paradoxes
Paradigms
Expanding
Evolving
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on June 5th, 2008
As a small business owner myself, I realize the importance of the multitude of traditional metrics that small business owners worry about. Lines of credit, sales, marketing plans, balance sheet, etc.
However there is an even more important aspect of your small business you probably don’t regularly think about: your life! Huh? what?
Absolutely! You are the one and only greatest asset (and liability) your small business has. Unlike a larger organization, you ARE in essence, your business.
As such the rest of your life has a critical, dramatic and immediate impact on your business. Such things as :
your relationships with family and friends and significant other,
your health,
your “fun and recreation”,
your personal growth,
your personal finances and
your physical environment
All the above have an impact on you as the leading influencer of your business’ success.
As much as we’d like to pretend we can leave those concerns when we leave for work, we just don’t operate that way. All areas of our life are interrelated, for good or bad. When youa re in love all seems great and youa re lighter in your business, even major issues don’t upset your stride. On the other hand, we have all experienced times in our life where the issues “outside” our own business really impact us and affect us.
All these areas can regain their balance and joy with the help of a personal coach. Someone independant that will call forth the true you!
Remember: Your coach is the person who can hear the song in you even when you have forgotten it yourself.
Frank Maloney, MBA, CPCC on May 22nd, 2008
Those of you who know me well are very much aware of the long journey that has brought me to coaching. I began training at CTI in November, 2006 and am currently almost done certification! I am soon to be a Certified Co-Active Coach or CPCC.
The reasons why I am a coach are many. I feel I have the ability, intuition, intelligence, drive and most importantly love it takes to help others achieve their greatest lives. I love this work, it speaks to me and heals me.
For those of you who are my clients, you will find a treasure trove of information and documents here. All free and for you to use at your discretion.
For prospective clients, hopefully you will get a sense of the depth of inquiry and passion with which I coach.
